I recently went to breakfast with a friend of mine from church. I was talking with him about some things that I was going through at home and in life in general and we were discussing the fact that the majority of my issues stem from my arch nemesis....pride. I HATE pride and yet it's been a battle for me for who-knows-how-long. I have a constant need to be RIGHT and, in general, I want to be the smartest person in the room. It really drives me nuts that it feels so good to be right and I truly don't want to be that kind of annoying person. Usually, I can do a fair job of hiding it or downplaying (the ever present flip side of pride: false humility....a completely separate post) but as with anything, it's way easier for it to come out at home. And being right all the time doesn't really help out on the 'ol home front.
Occasionally, when I know that I'm having a particularly rough go with my pride, I'll semi-confess by saying "I have a need to be right all the time...." but while I was at breakfast with my friend, God really convicted me of that line of thinking. The sooner that I can recognize and call it out for what it really is, the sooner I can get free of it. "being right all the time" is a much easier thing to say than "i am really having a tough time with pride" but you gotta call it what it is.
The hardest part for me is that I have so much to be prideful about. I have a fantastic wife and great kids, I'm successful in my job and I'm making more money than I ever have, and I have a very "up front" position at church. It goes to my head so fast! And isn't it just like the enemy to whisper into my ear to take out all my pride on those around me that have given me such a great life? It's so easy for me to think that I'm the one who is making all these things happen. And that's the great thing about accountability, I have someone I can go to and admit the most horrific things about me and that person will still love and care for me and pray for me. I used to hate to have to admit the things that were/are screwy in my life because I didn't want to be caught being "wrong" (again...pride, gah!) But, about 2 yrs ago, I was at my church's men's weekend and the leader of the weekend gave each person a scripture that he felt was for each one for the weekend. Mine was a scripture in Psalms that says "Those whom the Lord loves, he corrects"....just great! EXACTLY what I wanted to hear! It turned out to be such a fantastically liberating verse for me and I walked away from that weekend able to admit that I'm screwed up and it's OK. It's not OK to stay that way and not be willing to change but God has great grace for me and as He works on the things in my life, it's ok to share and talk about my "stuff"....I think I got off topic...oh well.
Anyways, I've been thinking about my pride a lot and how being "right" is actually pretty hurtful to those around me and that's not who I want to be. To hammer home the point our pastor talked about pride this weekend and I was reminded of the verse in 1 Peter that says that God opposes the proud but give grace to the humble. I so desperately want to be someone who is humble and gracious to others above all else. I don't want to be right all the time. I don't want to be a jerk or to be annoying to be around. That's not who God made me to be. The last thing that my friend said to me was "you can't rest on you laurels". This pride thing isn't gonna go away without some serious effort to continually pray and ask God to change me and, gulp, make me humble.
So there it is. Now everyone (all 5 people who read this and don't already know) knows I have a tough time with pride. It's a tough pill to swallow but it's just one more step on my road to being set free from this junk!
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7 comments:
Maybe you just need to start hanging out with people who are better than you and will mock and deride your existence.
Or maybe make it a matter of pride to not be prideful. Sort of like needing to become patient NOW!
scott i think you should stay away from opie...makes me think of that group called the nads or somethin like it. You could sing that song..."Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord..." :) Pride is a HUGE topic around here (specifically in my life as well...where did we get that from?!) One of those verses that Stan wrote on my nametag as well is one of the verses I keep very close to my heart...pretty rad.
Ok, first, Jeffy just used the word "rad" and I'm jealous because I wish that was a word I used on a more regular basis. (I forgot how cool that word is.)
Secondly, Scotty, I have a few things to say about this: 1) I'm glad God is pointing out areas in you that you feel you need to be changed. God will bless you for being obedient, 2) Don't be so hard on yourself, we all have those things in our lives that are our nemesis. Allow God to change you and not you change you, 3) Again, don't be so hard on yourself because people (like me) see that you are "right" all the time and we see that as you being confident, competent and smart. I personally know that you are one of the smartest dudes I've met and I appreciate and admire how you are always right. It's not something that I'd look down on if I were you. You should be "proud" (so to speak) of your intelligence and your ability to "be right.," 4) Again, don't be so hard on yourself.
not only did jeffy use the word "rad" but he also mentioned the nads...nice post jeffy
also, matty, for me it's a fine line of where i'm being confident and where i'm just being an ass. i do recognize that i'm smart, the pride comes out when i desire to have other people see how smart/great/handsome/fantastic i am and then beat them over the head with it :P
I look back at the Nads and don't blame anyone for hating us. Nobody likes it when someone talks trash and backs it up.
Good times.
Who said anything about handsome?
Just kidding buddy. You're quite the looker!
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